07 October 2015

Collecting Rose Petals

Dreams take me far away sometimes. This morning my dream took me to my father, (who recently passed) and left me with unbearable grief in my heart upon waking.

I could hear the rhythm rain from the drainpipe outside, along with the softly chiming wind chimes I placed beside my window last week. I immediately felt like writing in my journal, which has been less consistent these days.

Grief is a blue cloud that turns from green to grey to black in seconds then leaves again, releasing the weight of the hundred elephants, (so intensely heavy on the chest) and then no weight at all.  I had to get out of the house.
The wind had picked up and it was now pouring, so I grabbed my heavy wool coat and headed out to the local cafe.
Home again.. opened a window to air the place out, both, from last nights projects of painting the smell reminds me so much of my childhood when my mom would sand and primer all of our furniture on the spur of a moment, she's always had a quick hand, and still does, (I'll bet if you call her right now she is painting or planting something).
Getting back to the title of this little ditty, there is the most fragrant vintage rose bush next to my building. The kind that you only need to walk by to get a little whiff of heaven. I've been collecting the petals after the bees have had their share of the goodness and have been drying the petals recently. What a gift from G-D! I spread the petals out on cookie sheets and within a few days they are all dried and fragrant for making the house smell amazing.  A very uplifting smell.
Flowers, writing, fixing up my new apartment, it's the little things that make me happy these days, I savor these peaceful moments, only a few more days and I'll be busy with school again.
For now, I leave you with this thought:
"Willing to experience aloneness, I discover connection everywhere; turning to face my fear, I meet the warrior who lives within me; opening to my loss and pain and ignorance, I remember who I am and what I'm here for. Surrendering into emptiness, I find fullness without end. Each condition I flee from pursues me, each condition I welcome transforms me and becomes itself transformed into the blessing it always was." ~ Rob Brezny

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