11 October 2010

Feeling the love

Somewhere between starting this blog and inviting friends and family to read my writings, I lost something somewhere that intimately freed up my writings from any censorship. I realized that trying to limit my thoughts in order to not offend was making me not want to write at all, but now I'm back and I'm opening up like a book. I'm old enough to know that I can't please everyone, and with the recent death of my best friend and my father this year along side a serious breakup, I'm done trying to please the world. I need to live this life for me. Its the only way that I will survive myself. Darkness comes too easily now and it's time to start living in the light. I can't explain my thought patterns or exactly how I see the world, but I live with the idea that I am made of pure love and as I go thru this world I want to spread joy with those I encounter. I try to live my life with an open heart--rare these days. People are even somewhat bothered by too much openness, while others gladly take advantage. I'm learning. Luckily for me, I'm making new friends; friends who are patient and kind and want the best for me. So for now, instead of not writing at all out of fear or censorship, I will try to write from my heart and who knows, maybe another lost soul like myself with take something away from reading this journal.
I have faith.

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